MODULE 8

Healthy Family

English

a. Fathers

New fathers often feel neglected. During the pregnancy, everyone asked about the mother. Now everyone is interested in the baby. Where does the father fit in?

The new fathers are also tired; you have new responsibilities and worries. You are expected to do things you don't remember your own father doing like changing diapers, doing laundry, and getting up at night. In addition, you are still supposed to go to work and earn a living.

You are not alone. Most new fathers go through a time of confusion and adjustment. It is not easy, but it is normal. The following advice could help.

Test Your Knowledge

 
 

The following exercise will help you learn more about intercourse after childbirth.

Click on the option button which corresponds to the correct answer and verify your answer by clicking on the "Check" button.

1

Most new mothers are ready to resume intercourse

a) immediately after childbirth.
b) six weeks after childbirth.
c) when their stitches have healed and the vaginal discharge (lochia) has stopped.
d) when the baby sleeps all night.
Right answer! Most new mothers are ready to resume intercourse when their stitches have healed and the vaginal discharge ( lochia ) has stopped. Wrong answer! Most new mothers are ready to resume intercourse when their stitches have healed and the vaginal discharge ( lochia ) has stopped.

Check your answer

2

What can a couple do to facilitate resuming intercourse?

a) Wait until both partners feel like having intercourse.
b) Try new positions to cope with these discomforts.
c) Wait 6 weeks before resuming intercourse.
d) Have someone babysit outside the home in order to have more privacy.
Right answer ! Trying new positions may help certain couples when resuming intercourse.Wrong answer ! Trying new positions may help certain couples when resuming intercourse.

 

Check your answer

3

Among the following reasons which one can reduce the new mother's interest in sex?

a) Fatigue
b) Stress
c) Physical changes
d) The baby's presence
Right answer! Many new mothers are so tired that they lose interest in sex. Many new fathers have the same reaction.Wrong answer! Many new mothers are so tired that they lose interest in sex. Many new fathers have the same reaction.

Check your answer

4

If the mother is going through postpartum blues,

a) her interest in sex is not affected.
b) her interest in sex increases.
c) her interest in sex decreases.
d) none of the above.
Right answer! Mothers who are going through postpartum blues or postpartum depression may lose interest in sex. Wrong answer! Mothers who are going through postpartum blues or postpartum depression may lose interest in sex.

Check your answer

5

New mothers find that taking care of their new baby fulfills which need?

a) The need to be loved.
b) The need to be listened to.
c) The need to be touched.
d) The need to talk.
Right answer! Many new mothers find caring for the new baby meets their need to be touched and held. They may not feel the need to be touched by their partner. This can be upsetting to a partner who is used to a close and affectionate relationship.Wrong answer! Many new mothers find caring for the new baby meets their need to be touched and held. They may not feel the need to be touched by their partner. This can be upsetting to a partner who is used to a close and affectionate relationship.

Check your answer

6

What can a couple do to maintain their relationship during this difficult time after childbirth?

a) Go out on your own.
b) Spend time together.
c) Get a babysitter more often.
d) Wait until things return to normal.
Right answer! Try to keep your romance alive by spending time alone together. Going for a walk, or drive, or out for a coffee together can give both of you a chance to remember that you are friends and lovers as well as parents. Wrong answer! Try to keep your romance alive by spending time alone together. Going for a walk, or drive, or out for a coffee together can give both of you a chance to remember that you are friends and lovers as well as parents.

Check your answer

www.sexualityandu.ca

b. Birth Control

Immediately after birth, birth control may be just about the farthest thing from your mind. Sooner or later you will want to resume intercourse. So it is a good idea to be prepared.

After childbirth, you can ovulate and become pregnant even though you have not had a period. This is also true when you are breastfeeding.

Condoms are the safest method of birth control for the first few weeks after childbirth. After your postpartum checkup, you may want to use a different method. Using condoms is the only method that can prevent the transmission of sexually transmitted infections (STIs).

Here are a few points to consider when choosing birth control.

If you are alone or with a partner, there are many factors to consider when choosing birth control. Some forms of birth control may interfere with breastmilk production. It is important to discuss birth control options with your partner and health care professional.

To learn more about birth control and select the best one for you, visit the following web site: www.sexualityandu.ca .

Remember that if you try one method and you are not happy with it, you can always try another.

a. Sexuality

Resuming intercourse after childbirth is sometimes stressful for one of the two partners.

Adapting to the new role of a parent, fatigue, and the new mother's perception of her body after childbirth can play an important role in the resumption of intercourse.

E. SEX AND BIRTH CONTROL

Your sexual relationship is another area of your life that will be changing as you adjust to parenthood. Learning to share and care about each other in a new way can add warmth and depth to your relationship and allow you to discover each other all over again.

A new baby turns a woman into a mother, a man into a father, and a couple into a family. Your relationship as a couple still exists but you can expect some changes.

Some couples have trouble working out a new relationship that is satisfying to both. The key is to talk about how you feel. Be open with one another. A sense of humour can help too.

 

g. Going Back to Work

Many new mothers have anywhere from 6 to 12 months of maternity leave. Others return to work or to school much sooner.There is a lot to think about before returning to work or school.

When making your plans for returning to work or school, you should consider the following.

There is no "best" time to return to work or to school. Every situation is different for each family. You must find a balance between work or studies and your new role as a parent.

h. Single Parenting

Whether you are a single parent by choice or by chance, you are not alone.

Adjusting to parenthood, finding a balance between work and home, managing money, and finding time for yourself are issues all mothers face. They can be even more difficult when you are on your own.

All the advice for new mothers applies to you, but even more so. Single mothers must take care of themselves, establish a good support network, and be realistic about what they can do.

Inquire about the resources and community services available to you. Talk to a public health nurse, or visit your nearest Community Health Centre or Community Resource Centre.

e. Postpartum Blues and Depression

The arrival of a new baby is usually a happy time for most women. However, this is not always true. New mothers may feel different emotions ranging from happiness to sadness.

Two or three days after giving birth, about 80% of women may feel:

  • feel disappointed
  • be sad and teary eyed
  • be irritable
  • feel overwhelmed and anxious
  • feel fatigued and have difficulty sleeping
  • experience mood swings
  • be unable to concentrate

This is called postpartum or baby blues. These feelings usually go away within one to two weeks. However, about 10 percent of women go on to have postpartum depression.

Postpartum depression may begin within a few weeks after birth or at any time during your baby's first year.

Consult the following table to learn a few signs of postpartum depression.

If you have one or many of these symptoms, remember, you are not alone, and this is a treatable illness.

for more information.

See your doctor immediately or go to the emergency room at the hospital if:

  • You have scary fantasies;
  • you have thoughts of hurting your baby or yourself.

If other feelings depression persist longer than two or three weeks, contact:

  • your local family doctor or obstetrician.
  • a Public Health nurse or Nurse Practitioner.
  • your local Public Health Clinic (www.gnb.ca/publichealth then click on Public Health Clinics).
  • your local Mental Health Centre (www.gnb.ca/0055/contacts-e.asp).
  • Tele-Care 811.
  • a private counselor, psychologist or psychiatrist.

This video, created by the Best Start Resource Centre, introduces the topic of postpartum mood disorders.Life with a New Baby: Dealing with Postpartum Mood Disorders.

f. Getting Back Into Shape

It is only natural to want to return to your pre-pregnancy shape as soon as possible. Give yourself some time. Remember that you were pregnant for nine months. Your body won't return to normal overnight.

Sensible eating and regular exercise will help you to feel fit. For additional information, see Module 5 entitled" Healthy Diet" and Module 6 entitled "Healthy Activity".

Good health matters as much now as it did during your pregnancy. Eat well, rest, stay active, and avoid drugs and smoking. Taking care of yourself is as important as taking care of your baby.

d. Fatigue

It is hard to believe that looking after a tiny baby can take so much time and energy. Many new mothers spend the first few weeks feeling very tired.

Here are a few tips to help you.

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