MODULE 3

It is normal for a baby to cry. Crying is the only way a baby can let you know when something is wrong. Loneliness, the need for a diaper change, or to be cuddled can make a baby cry. A baby will cry if he or she is sick, uncomfortable, or if he or she feels alone. Babies may also cry because they are hungry, however, crying is a late sign of hunger. An infant crying from hunger may be too upset to settle down to feed. It is important you get to know your baby's early feeding cues. Please refer to module 4 for more information on infant feeding cues.

Most babies have a fussy period every day, and it is more difficult to comfort them during this time. A six-week old baby cries an average of two to three hours per day. Certain babies cry because they are colicky. They may cry day and night. The crying becomes unbearable, and the parents often become frustrated and angry. You may feel tired, alone, incompetent, disappointed, or desperate.

If you notice that your partner is depressed for long periods and that she has trouble managing her emotions, contact a health professional. Postpartum depression can occur in the first two to three weeks after delivery or many months if not years later. This can also happen to a woman who adopts a child. This type of depression seems to occur more frequently to women with a family history of depression, but it can occur without any apparent reason and without warning.

The woman suffering from postpartum depression feels sad, unhappy, and anxious. These feelings last longer than two weeks. The feelings and the symptoms are similar to the baby blues but are more intense and last longer. A health professional will work with your partner and find the best treatment for her. You will find more information on this topic in Module 8 entitled "Healthy Family".

As the father of a breastfed baby, you are essential to the success of this experience. During the pregnancy, inquire about the advantages of breastfeeding for the baby, for your partner, and for your family. Share your concerns with your partner or anybody else near you. It could be a nurse or doctor for example. Have this discussion before the birth of the baby.

Here is how the father can contribute to the success of breastfeeding.

You are not alone. Most new fathers go through a period of confusion and adjustment. It is not always easy, but it is normal. The following suggestions may help when learning your new role as a father.

Here are a few tips to help you cope with your newborn.

This activity will help you to understand the feelings the birth of a baby may arouse in a new father.

Click on the button which corresponds to your selected answer and check your answer by clicking on the "Check" button

1

At the birth of the baby, the new dad a) is happy, proud, and excited. b) is nervous about bringing such a small baby home. c) has mixed feelings. d) is worried about not feeling the way he believes he should. Right answer! It is normal to have mixed feelings. The birth of a baby is a fantastic event. Sharing the birth of a child and holding a new baby is a unique experience. One minute you are happy, proud, and excited; the next minute, you are worried about what will happen. Will I be a good father? Will I be able to take good care of my child? Some fathers are also worried about not feeling as happy as they believe they should. Wrong answer! It is normal to have mixed feelings. The birth of a baby is a fantastic event. Sharing the birth of a child and holding a new baby is a unique experience. One minute you are happy, proud, and excited; the next minute, you are worried about what will happen. Will I be a good father? Will I be able to take good care of my child? Some fathers are also worried about not feeling as happy as they believe they should.

2

During the first few days after the birth, the new dad a) is amazed by the baby and the fact that he is completely taken up by this baby. b) is totally indifferent and leaves his partner take care of the baby. c) should not pick up the baby because he may hurt it d) does not take care of the baby because the baby only needs its mother Right answer! The new father is often amazed and completely absorbed by this baby .Your strong feelings may surprise you. You may have a strong need to see, touch, and hold your baby. Do not hesitate to hold the baby in your arms; it is good for you and your baby.Wrong answer! The new father is often amazed and completely absorbed by this baby .Your strong feelings may surprise you. You may have a strong need to see, touch, and hold your baby. Do not hesitate to hold the baby in your arms; it is good for you and your baby.

3

During the first few days at home, the father may feel a) in shape because he had time to rest while his partner was in the hospital. b) tired and overwhelmed by the event. c) indifferent towards what is going on around him. d) frustrated because he does not have time to watch television. Right answer! When the mother and the baby come home, you may be surprised to see all the time taken up by the baby. You may also be surprised by the little time available for the new parents to sleep. Certain fathers think that the new mom automatically knows how to take care of her new baby. They are astonished when their partners ask for help or advice. Your partner needs you now more than ever.Wrong answer! When the mother and the baby come home, you may be surprised to see all the time taken up by the baby. You may also be surprised by the little time available for the new parents to sleep. Certain fathers think that the new mom automatically knows how to take care of her new baby. They are astonished when their partners ask for help or advice. Your partner needs you now more than ever.

4

The newborn is a) very fragile and it is difficult to verify if everything is normal. b) insensitive to everyone around except the mother. c) not interesting for the father. d) too small to understand whatsoever. Right answer! Many young fathers worry about the baby being normal. They often can't imagine what a newborn looks like and do not know what to expect. They worry about the baby's health and are afraid of unwillingly hurting the baby. Although you have to handle the baby with care, don't hesitate to touch your baby and pick it up. You will form a bond with your child.Wrong answer! Many young fathers worry about the baby being normal. They often can't imagine what a newborn looks like and do not know what to expect. They worry about the baby's health and are afraid of unwillingly hurting the baby. Although you have to handle the baby with care, don't hesitate to touch your baby and pick it up. You will form a bond with your child.

5

Most of the new fathers are preoccupied by a) the purchase of diapers and clothing for the baby. b) family finances. c) the purchase of a new vehicle. d) the practical aspect. Right answer! Most of the new fathers are preoccupied by the practical aspect. The family income may be lower for a while. The cost of diapers, clothing and food for the baby may seem expensive. Wrong answer! Most of the new fathers are preoccupied by the practical aspect. The family income may be lower for a while. The cost of diapers, clothing and food for the baby may seem expensive.

6

About sexuality, the new fathers a) are not usually preoccupied. b) are anxious to get back to their sexual activities. c) don't have time to think about it because the baby takes up all the time. d) are preoccupied about resuming their sexual activities with their partner. Right answer! Most men are preoccupied by sexuality after the delivery. The new father wonders when he will be able to resume sexual relations with his partner and if she will have pain. He may also worry about contraceptives. It is common to see fathers who feel neglected. Everybody is interested in the baby especially your partner. You may feel left out. Wrong answer! Most men are preoccupied by sexuality after the delivery. The new father wonders when he will be able to resume sexual relations with his partner and if she will have pain. He may also worry about contraceptives. It is common to see fathers who feel neglected. Everybody is interested in the baby especially your partner. You may feel left out.

As a father you will feel different emotions at the birth of your child. You may be surprised by the intense love you will feel for your baby as well as the tenderness the baby inspires.

Similarly to new mothers, certain fathers do not instantly feel love for their baby. Don't worry. Give yourself time.

Nobody is indifferent to the birth of a baby. Each person reacts in their own way.

The father cannot overlook the emotions he feels at the birth of a baby.

This section contains advice to help you adjust to your new role as a father.

Finally, the baby is here. The delivery is behind you and the baby is at home. You will, without a doubt, find it incredible how such a small being can so drastically change your life. Don't worry. As time goes on and you get acquainted with your baby, things will return to normal. It may take a few months. Enjoy these unique moments with your little family.

This is what you may feel immediately before the delivery.

• You are excited about the baby finally arriving.
• You are worried about not arriving at the hospital on time. You worry that something will go wrong for your partner or your baby.
• You are overwhelmed by the course of events.
• You are not sure of what is happening or what you should do.
• You hope you will be able to alleviate your partner's pain.
• You feel ready for this experience.